Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) describes physical violence, sexual violence, stalking and psychological aggression (including coercive acts) by a current or former intimate partner.1 Intimate Partner Violence affects people of all ages, sexes, cultures, religions, professions and income levels, yet remains widely under-reported.
Several different words are used to describe Intimate Partner Violence. They include:
- Relationship abuse
- Intimate partner violence
- Relationship violence
- Dating abuse
- Domestic abuse
- Domestic violence
Examples of intimate partners include current or former spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends, dating partners, or sexual partners. IPV can occur between heterosexual or same-sex couples and does not require sexual intimacy.
1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/intimatepartnerviolence/definitions.html
Red Flags of Abuse
There are many warning signs that can help identify whether you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship. The following list includes warning signs that someone may be abusive. Red flags include someone who:
- Wants to move too quickly into the relationship.
- Early in the relationship flatters you constantly, and seems "too good to be true."
- Wants you all to him- or herself; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family.
- Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school, or quit your job.
- Does not honor your boundaries.
- Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful.
- Wants to know where you are all of the time and frequently calls, emails, and texts you throughout the day.
- Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, and/or fat/unattractive, or that no one else would ever want or love you.
- Takes no responsibility for his or her behavior and blames others.
- Has a history of abusing others.
- Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on his or her former partner; for example, "My ex was totally crazy."
- Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt.
- Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others.
For help and information
- LifeWire: 24-Hour HelpLine: 425-746-1940 or 800-827-8840 https://www.lifewire.org/
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224
- National Network to End Domestic Violence. http://nnedv.org/
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: http://ncadv.org/
- WomensLaw Email Hotline: hotline.womenslaw.org
- Abused Deaf Women’s Advocacy Services (ADWAS): (206) 922-7088 TTY, Crisis Line: (206) 812-1001. http://www.adwas.org/
- Faith Trust Institute: WOrking Together to end sexual and domestic violence. http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/
- Jewish Family Services – Project Dvora, Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 461-3240, Crisis Line: (206) 461-3222. http://www.jfsseattle.org/services/project-dvora/
- New Beginnings, Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 783-4520, Crisis Line: (206) 522-9472. http://www.newbegin.org/
- NW Immigrant Rights Project, Seattle, WA. Office: 206-587-4009, Crisis Line: 206-957-8621. https://www.nwirp.org/
- NW Network of Bisexual, Trans, Lesbian & Gay Survivors of Abuse, Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 568-7777. http://www.nwnetwork.org/
- Multi-Communities (MIC), Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 937-7155. http://www.multicommunities.org/services.html
- Refugee Women’s Alliance, Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 721-0243, Crisis Line: (206) 721-0243. http://www.rewa.org/services/domestic-violence/
- Salvation Army Domestic Violence Programs, Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 447-9944. http://salvationarmydomesticviolenceprograms.org/programs.html
- Seattle Indian Health Board, Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 324-9360. http://www.sihb.org/
- YWCA of Seattle/King County, Seattle, WA. Office: (206) 490-4353, Crisis Line: (206) 461-4882. http://www.ywcaworks.org/page.aspx?pid=483
More Local Resources in Washington State can be found at the http://wscadv.org/washington-domestic-violence-programs/